Pre_K's Xanga

Ebony Moon.

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 00:29:52 GMT

Ebony Moon

So I pitch pennies into the cosmos

Spending dollars on pointless lottery schemes

Cause sometimes it is just better to dream

Of how beautiful you are in verse

however your nature eludes my words

which frustrates me to almost no end

but just the thought of you

is proof by proxy that this universe is indeed elegant in its design

my mind defines your orbit to be divine

maybe I am just hallucinating

because I have asked around

and no one has ever seen nor heard of an ebony moon

although it is more of a theory than an actuality

yet even still

more of an axiom than a theory

my faith in your magnificence never wavers

however,

I must wave goodbye before ever hugging you and saying hello

I am going to miss telling you that I love you

For you will forever be the uncultured pearl resting within this crustacean heart of mine

You were

meant to be the better part me

but life is ahead in the count 0 balls 2 strikes

and it is my destiny for me to work this count full

In a parallel universe

This would have been your name

Had I the strength to see you into this world

But

In my weakness

I wear a contraceptive on my tongue

In order to prevent myself from speaking your eminence into existence

And I am not sure if I am cursed or blessed

my tides are always at the whim of you

Forever full in my heart

You are ebony moon.

Guest Lecture(intercourse – digitally remastered)

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 21:02:41 GMT

Guest Lecture(intercourse – digitally remastered)

taking this intercourse to a post doctoral level

Theoretically I would use her landscape for a Ouija board

allowing her most innate desires to guide me

touching parts of her she thought to be dead

by most measures I am a practical individual

It should come as no surprise that I am not into minor miracles

So this isn’t no water into wine sort of thing

Survivalist by nature

If required we shall drink what we perspire

This is not a give sight to the blind sort of thing

Comprehending the situation

By using these fingertips

to read the goosebumps and rising fine hairs on her skin

while exploring her elegant universe

not a five loaves and two fish sort of thing

lets just say

that science suggest we can go a few days if need be

but if worse comes to worse

we can just become cannibals and devour each other

I am aiming for something only conspiracy theorists could suggest

An alternate universe apocryphal experience

On some Jesus and Mary Magdalene tip

Except this version

is going to be written and edited in the cosmic calligraphy of Aphrodite

With the kind of syntax that causes breaks in the space time continuum

Quantum leap to a place where orgasms aren’t really a matter of choice

I once heard “Prior preparation prevents poor performance”

And in that case I have been practicing my multiplication since the age of six

Believe me, even Californians haven’t felt vibrations like this

The likes of which

just may well shift Alex Haley’s Roots

Take a pause

draft a galactic peace accord to end these Star Wars

our time together would surely caused

I never learned to read sheet music

So we won’t necessarily be making sweet music in the sheets

But sometime back I figured out how to play by ear

So instead I orchestrate symphonies in concert with her biorhythms

Because she absolutely refuses to groove to auto tunes

In thrilling exploration of her individuality

I map her genome

then began to climb her base pairs like Olympus Mons

Reach her summit

Then base jump from there

Like some cranked out adrenaline junkie

But after while the thrill of these moments begin meaning less

And what was once a teachable moment becomes just sex.

Unless you find yourself falling in love

Class dismissed

While in Cali..

Wed, 29 Jul 2009 03:10:03 GMT

So I just got home from California yesterday. We all know i am not the traveling type but when someone offers you a free place to stay and to be a personal tour guide you don't pass of an opportunity for a cheap trip. So against the wishes of a few people I went. I would get into all of that but that is a post for another day. however, I will just leave it at this. men and women can just be friends. just because i go to see a friend of the opposite sex does not mean that I am trying to have sex I think i am attractive enough to get some sex without having to fly some two thousand plus miles to get it...

Any way let me get to my california trip. destination lost angeles.. Got in a little later than I was supposed to, thanks continental. overall i was forty minutes late. however, my ride from the airport seemed to have the patience of a saint. maybe there is something to the common adage that california people are just a laid back bunch. given all the traffic out there i am surprised you don't see more people cutting each other off. maybe it is the weather or something in the drinking water..

First observation.. California would have some magnificient views if it wasn't for all the smog out there. i swear yall people need to learn to carpool or something cause i swear there it looks like that city should have a permanent fog warning.

I went to the famous roscoe's chicken in waffles to get my eat on.. and there i made another observation. Either people are insanely nice or they are straight up in the child kidnapping business. Me, My hostess, and a friend of hers are sitting there eating. and if you have had the pleasure (or horror, depending on who you ask) of seeing me eat you know i rarely even come up for air, some even doubt that i breath during consumption. In any event. I am sitting there having a good time with my food and hear this lady ask a child her name. now a few facts to have to be set in place before you can understand the why i found this inquiry to be so damn weird. first you would have to know that the lady came into the restaurant with two children sat down at the table and asked the children what they wanted to eat and drink. nothing abnormal there. however, a few minutes later one of the said children got up and began to wonder around and the lady tried to call her back but she didn't know the child's name. Ok, this is not the end of the world because we all capable of forgetting a name every now and then. What is weird here is that the other child did not seem to know the wondering childs name either.

so now you have to ask yourself the following questions. what adult takes a child she doesn't know? what parent lets their child go with someone that doesn't have a relationship with said child? obviously I don't have the answers to these questions. but i will be damned if any of it makes sense. again it seems like people in california are a different breed of people. anyway let me get on to the other observations.

California is a broke state. but i feel offended paying 9.75 (10.25% within ingelwood city limits) for my purchases. damn brother like me feeling really molested by the state of california.. governer Schwartzenager " I won't be back" at least not until you lower that immoral sales tax.

for the pervs in the world. i swear on a sunny day you will see more women's assests than one can put on one side of the most prestine of balance sheets because all the woman out there wear sun dresses. can i get an AMEN!!!

the home of tight jeans. I am disgusted by how tight the jeans are young men are wearing these days. however i am positive of the prospects of them becoming sterile when it comes time for them to help in the bearing of children. Cause if they are not of the mind to know not the disaster they are reeking one the world by the forcing us to see this nonsense then they deserve not to be able to reproduce (we don't need those Genes replicated).

Fat Burger or In and out Burger: For my money I am rolling with fat burger. don't get me wrong this fat boy right here has love for both burger establishments for they both top notch burgers joints. for me the decision seemed to hinge on the fact that it felt like i had more burger options with the fat burger than with the in and out burger. now maybe i didn't know about In and out's secret menu that i have heard so many people rave about. for my simplistic mind and pallate fat burger gets the nod for both..

The night scene in los Angeles sucks.. alright maybe that isn't a fair assessment because my tour guide was a doctor who spends a lot more time working her twelve to fourteen hour shifts than she does partying so i cannot hold los angeles responsible for ineptitude of my over-acheiving tour guide. I did witness a fight between a black girl and a white girl after a whack party i attended in beverly hills. now this white girl had a ton friends with her. so many they had a stretch navigator pick them up after the party. however, this black chick, who had two other people with her at most was able to run her mouth and get into a one on one fight with the white chick. now had that happened on the east coast that black girl might have gotten rolled one by the crew of white women then they would have hopped in their car and acted like nothing never happened.. now from what i saw it looked like an even fight (i admit i was in a car across the street from the action). so from my vantage point it looked like they both had each other's hair and threw a couple of punches. i guess the black girl had a higher power punch percentage or something cause after the fight the white girl was sobbing as she was being carried back into the stretch navigator. so there you have it even people in rich neighborhoods get it like thugs.

All in all california is a cool place to visit. the people are generally nice even if they are a little weird. for the pot heads in the world there was a 420 doctor out there on venice beach and more people advertising marijuana as an alternative medicine than i have heard of people rushing west for gold.. just remember before you all go galloping west. remember that legal drugs are usually more expensive than illegal drugs and if california has its way it will be taxed at that god forsaken retail tax rate.

in any event.. california. a cool place to visit and a lot of sights to see but I got too much east coast in my genome to ever consider seriously moving out there..

piece and blessings..

Sunday Morning before the movies..

Sun, 19 Jul 2009 12:16:49 GMT

yes I am about to go to the movies on a sunday morning. brother like me is all about the matinee. why pay four extra dollars to see a movie with a whole bunch of extra people? I couldn't find a good answer thus i have been going to matinee movies ever since unless the lady asks me to see something with her.

about a few months ago me and my brother in thought, Afron was discussing entertainment mediums and how one is generally more accepted than another. My brother in thought pretty made some comments that people aren't ready to hear. however since i am now taken some serious time to think about it I am of the opinion that he was spot on in his assessment of this subject.

giving you all the short version of this conversation he simply made a few comments. He thinks people who like to brag that they don't watch tv but read books for entertainment are a travesty. and that they are lost souls trying to make themselves seem better than what they really are. his reasoning for this was rather detailed but i will sum it up to say that most tv shows excluding those quote un quote reality shows are written with just as much painstaking detail as a book. all the wack movies that make it to the screen are in most cases are derived by books and other written media. thus unless one is making a critique of how these studios are making a mess of things I am likely to suggest that most people espousing how they are not tv watchers are just full of shit.

My brother in thought made a few more arguments about plays and video games but i my time is running short and i have to get to what i need to say about entertainment mediums.

my personal opinion is simply this on the matter. I don't really care which means or medium on choose to entertain him or herself. For me it is always a matter of what one gets out of it. Personally i do a little bit of every thing. I play video games, I read books, and I watch TV. I am not to say that its perfectly balanced either. I tend to do whichever activity gets my mind moving and thinking about the things. lets me honest most of human innovation has been inspired by other things. humans have very peculiar minds. it is something akin to the movie beautiful minds where Nash got the idea for his game theory dissertation by sitting in a bar with his buddies fawning over this one woman. some ancient cultures chewed on cocoa leaves in order to open their minds.

In my opinion I don't really perceive one medium as better than the other. one can spend a life time readings others' thoughts and never get a kernel of wisdom out of it. another can spend significant amounts of time playing video games and use its application to take gaming,computing, or robotics to another level.

All I will say to you is this. I don't really care how one spends their days. I only encourage them to get return on their time investment. If i had to guess what the average return on the investment in time is for the human species i would have to guess that our ability to invest is deplorable at best.

in any event I am of to go see this new harry potter film because i was too lazy to read those thick ass books.. piece and blessings..

not really liking this title function

Fri, 03 Jul 2009 01:04:37 GMT

Convicted Convictions

I have lived in this world long enough to learn

That people are only interested in changing others opinions

Like facts no longer matter

And conviction is some ancient relic

Long since lost to the modernity of half truths sold at wholesale prices

In search for deeper meaning

My conscience mockingly suggested that I Google

Discourse has been downsized to a tweet

And I am afraid that anything longer and people won’t be able to follow.

not quite sure which is worse,

An illiterate society or one which fails to comprehend

So addicted to high fructose corn syrup

That consuming anything without additives is akin to some form of cruelty

So in comes sweet & low, Splenda, Saccharine, sorbitol,

and a whole host of substitutes

there is so many

one is left to question the sincerity of anyone’s kindness

altruism was jilted at the altar

left for ulterior motives

humanity walks the earth wounded in search of divine closure

praying to a deity while preying upon one another

In warped worlds

greed approximates survival

as cities are the crown jewels of a bankrupt civilization

fear is considered healthy

when prescribed in appropriate doses

and even if such prescribed rhetoric were believable

it is more likely that this nation over-medicates

in the same manner that it overeats

cause its zeitgeist dictates that there is never enough

Demeanor,

Typically reckless

Something about the combination of idle minds and too much time

That causes people to rhyme without reason

So we begin nodding our heads and gyrating our hips to this societal cacophony

Screaming encore for auto-tunes

Because our ears have forgotten the meaning of harmony

Thus Justice

and the discord she wields in her sword and scale is all we have left

Piece and blessings

Year 28...

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 02:36:06 GMT

yeah these days i keep it pretty low key. to very little fan fare i celebrated my 27th birthday. those who remembered called or texted me to wish me a happy birthday and to those i thank them for even remembering such a thing. no i am not one of those people who feels slighted by a few people forgeting my birthday. I did absolutely nothing for my bday. the morning of my bday i woke up to a happy bday message from my girlfriend. most of my nieces and nephews called me to wish me a happy bday. my coworkers helped my celebrate my bday by bringing in donuts and things of the sort. one of my coworker baked some cookies and when i tell you tha this lady can bake she can bake like no one I have ever known in my life. put it this way if she came out with a line of baked goods i would emphatically endorse such a product. I came home from work my aunt called me to tell me that she made me a pan of lasanga as my gift (damn good gift if you ask me). the simplicity of the day made me happy. it was so simple in fact i went to bed before 11pm yesterday.

usually i spend my bday by myself or with family (that includes close friends). this year i chose to spend my day by myself. some people consider me a social butterfly but truth is i am a loner by nature. oddly enough i did come to find on cbs morning news that new jersey became a british colony (they took the land from the dutch) on june 24 1664. no sure how accurate it is but the state website does corroborate this fact somewhat in fact stating that this territoy became a british colony in 1664. the exact date it doesn't say and i don't feel like doing the research to confirm such a thing.

my thoughts on 27 years being earth bound..

I respect facts for what they are. however, there are too many people purposely spinning facts in order to propriotize truth.

it looks like breadth as opposed to depth is the winner of the information age.

I feel sorry for libraries. people rarely go into libraries anymore. i still get giddy as all hell when i see a building full of books. I also become humbled as I realize that there is a lot out there that i don't know no or cannot even begin to understand. and at this age I am thinking I have become fine with that.

I still believe that humanity has made a mockery of love. perhaps in a few hundred thousand years (if humans are still around at that point) they will better be able to understand such phenomona.

I am deathly afraid that humans are messing on a terrain that they know very little about. from what i understand about life, creation is a very special gift giving to a very few species. humans have done a great job at creation to mimicry. however, I am certain they are going too far with trying to create intelligent life forms with human characteristics. what will humanity do when it has made itself obsolete?

it seems to me that we are always on the go and just doing things that we rarely take the time to think. I understand the concept of making decisions in a world with imperfect/incomplete information or even instinct for that matter however, the amount of ready, fire, aim that is is going on in this society will be the end of us as we know it.

I am no environmentalist to say the least but when a species has not only polluted its land,water, and air but has found a way to pollute space as well one said species may need to rethink its modus operandi.

we are in a serious need of people who will ask better questions and not willing to accept bullshit answers.

piece and blessings yall.

very few shortcuts...

Mon, 08 Jun 2009 23:10:00 GMT

The essence of a professional

My brother and thought Afron often asks me what the word is when he sees me online. The word, as we call it is simply the prevailing dominant thought in our minds, almost like a word or concept of the day. So when he routinely asked what as the word. I simply told him professional. Of course he asked me to elaborate and a week and some days later I have decided to elaborate the best way I know how.

To be a professional can mean a great many of things. In the world of radio jock Wendy Williams, professionals can be given. If you don’t know what it means to give a professional then you certainly won’t find out here, all I will say about that is think of superhead. In the world of the civilized, if I can call this world and our interactions such, to be professional is to do something at a high enough level to be compensated for it. Although the previous definition is a vague one to say the least it will have to do for the purpose of this scribing.

What motivated me to want to even think about professionalism? That is a fair question. No, it was not Lebron James storming off the court like a poor sport last week after the Orlando Magic sent him home after defeating Cleveland in game six of the eastern conference finals. What motivated me to even want to broach the subject of professionalism was noticing how those teams prepared to play against each other. From the scouting reports to the execution despite the fact that at this level of competition and this time of year the other team pretty much knows what you are running and how you are going to run it. Then my thoughts went to those NCAA commercials where they talk about most collegiate athletes go on to be pros in areas other than sports.

As those commercials came running through my head I began to ask myself; are us typical people who get up to go to work each morning professionals? Now there is the notion of professionalism which is pretty much the idea of given an honest day’s effort and being a team player on the job. There is some more than can be said about the essence of professionalism but I will stop there for some sake of brevity. After some thinking I came to the conclusion that the answer to this inquiry is generally a no.

I know that flatly saying no is a cynic’s approach to things but I have to say that professionalism is learned. Most people are able to be paid for something simply by portraying some level of talent or proficiency in a said area. For me that area is finance. For the typical American most of us dread getting up and going to work. Most of try to get away with doing as little as possible or shall I say just enough not to get fired (which in this economy is a lot more than what it used to be). Well let me be fair here, most of us do what is asked of us. However, very few of us will go beyond what is being asked of us in the work environment generally because we feel we are not being paid enough or we feel underappreciated for all the duties we thanklessly perform on a day to day basis.

How does one learn professionalism? Well for me as cliché as it sounds I learned from watching professionals go about their business. I garnered the essence of being a professional from reading biographies of people I considered good at what they do. What I have learned being professional is putting in that extra effort in order to be better. It is not resting on one’s laurels. Great examples of being a professional include the likes of professional athletes. One example is hall of fame wide receiver Jerry Rice, often referred to as the greatest wide receiver to ever play the game of football. Despite these accolades, he was also known for being the hardest working person in the game. It was said that during his day his off season training regiment was one of the toughest there were. In fact many of people have attempted to work out with jerry rice only to find they didn’t have what it took to put their bodies through such rigorous train. The question remains. Did jerry have to put himself through all the training he did? The answer is no. however, Jerry Rice realized that his talent was enough or maybe he wouldn’t let it be enough and continued to improve his craft.

We all know the famous tale of Michael Jordan being cut from the varsity basketball team his freshman year and later coming to be one of the greatest if not the greatest basketball player to ever play the game of professional basketball. What a lot of people don’t know is the Michael used to work out after games which he would regularly play 40 or so minutes. That right there is what one would call a dogged determination. Shaq may have been called superman because of his size and strength but Jordan had what many would label as a will of steel that did not bend. Recent television sensationalism has led to many CEOs getting flack for what many consider excessive pay but many people don’t know is that most CEOs work seven days a week most times for many hours a day. Most people don’t realize that being a CEO is often so stressful that the average tenure for a chief executive officer is about two to three years. I am not saying that some of them are grossly overpaid but what I can say without any equivocation is that they work extremely hard. To take a less heralded example one can simply take a player like shane battier for the Houston Rockets. This guy is known as the consummate team player. He often defends the opposing teams best perimeter player and he does so by conducting massive amounts of scouting above and beyond what his coaches provide.

It seems in hour (spelled that way purposely) culture we prefer the quick, at the ready answers to questions and solutions to our problems. I am not here to pick on hip hop but there have been many people who have been a part of that movement that have given the art a bad name by trying to make it sound so easy. As if working hard is an old tired cliché. Often, even I espouse the virtue of “working smarter not harder.” However, I am of the notion one learns to work smarter by working harder. Over the pass few years it has become immensely popular to portray something as being entirely too easy. These days most rappers talk about how they don’t write their rhymes they just get in the studio with a beat and do their thing. I am not the one to begrudge someone for having innate talent. However, I vehemently begrudge a culture that makes it sacrilege for someone to actually try their best at something. We have created monsters. It has gotten so bad that little boys no longer see fit to actually do nice things for or pursue the women they have feelings for. What have we called it, paying for ass or more affectionately known as tricking?

I once told my brother in thought that we as a people no longer have any pride in what we do to earn a living. Sadly enough, I can think back on that statement and say that I still whole-heartedly agree with those sentiments spoken so many years or so ago. I don't ask that people become Taylor like drones only that we find a way to be our best. As I sit back and think on all the opportunities that have passed me by do my own lack of professional ethic I can only hope that I find the courage to change my cowardice ways. Here is to having the gumption to challenge oneself to exceed even one’s own great expectations. In the spirit of John C. Maxwell may your talent alone never be enough.

Piece and blessings.

I dare you to do better...

Wed, 27 May 2009 00:46:10 GMT

i saw star trek the weekend it came out, matinee of course.. I am not a big fan of huge crowds. and the one line that really stuck out to me was that line you see in my title. for many of generations the present generations have left most if not all their unfinished task for the next generation to finish or carry. well i cannot speak for the entire human race but i can speak for the american variety as I have been a witness to such all my life.

of course every parent wants their child to do better and be better off than they were coming up. however, lets be honest about this present day americans are not sincere about wanting better for their kids because if they actually did want better for their kids they would have done better for themselves. this record level debt we have incurred as a country is a clear sign that we don't want better for our kids and grandchildren but that we expect them to rectify our mess. Let me not even begin with oncoming reck that is social security.

even if we look on the micro level parents are failing their kids at an alarming rate. most of us have sympathy and excuses for our mediocrity. I personally think it is selfish of people to have kids if they have not become their best self. some say that a kid makes you a more responsible person. I say like hell. the women and men of today are not made of the same stuff of the woman and men of a few generations back. But that is not even a fair assessment people because a few generations back had a lot more help with handling their adult responsibilities. Despite the inequity of this comparison I will say this; as an adult if you cannot seem to find the time to attend a PTA or events concerning said child then one ought to consider not having a child. And that is for both women and men. more so woman because they have these children despite the circumstances because they want to prove they can handle it or prove that they are superwomen. this amount of "i don't need that nigger" bravado that women have garnered over the years is nothing more than juvenile. you may not need that no good man but you are going to need somebody. teachers are not glorified babysitters. and even if some of them are nothing more than 7-3 babysitters there still has to be some reinforcement or supplemental fortification by said parents. the truth is, regardless of circumstances parents have largely failed their children on this front.

In my opinion I think we are all talk when we say we want our children to be better than we are. how will they ever learn to be better if we do not teach them how to go about doing better. high school dropout illiteracy rates are at record highs in this country, mostly in minorty communities. we have mothers who want their young boys to respect women but let their present boyfriends treat them like shit in the very presence of these young men. we got men/maybe baby daddies who will be damned if someone disrespects his daughter, mother, etc but go and call the next woman a bitch or treat her with all sorts of disrespect.

I think accountability is nothing but a scapegoat's word that has become overly popular in media outlets. however, we all have the universal ability to respond to our stimuli. And what is drastically needed now is an improvement to how we respond to our environment. and if it sounds like I am being unfairly critical to people or you feel some kind of way about this post then I dare you to do better.

piece and blessings.

as my world turns..

Fri, 15 May 2009 00:02:54 GMT

lets be real.. with all the searches going on in the world wide web a brother like me feel like i got fifty million big brothers out there. Not that what i say is in the least interesting these days. Hell half the time I have to drag myself to be in front of the computer screen. Even as the TV watches me, I am having a hard time sitting in front of this machine typing coherent sentences.

Just in case the world has not caught up with what i am up to I feel no need to update said masses. just know that i have drastically reduced my digital footprint. I even thought about getting rid of this here blog but I have to admit some of my better ideas came while posting on this site and sometimes i need to look back to see if there has been any progress made at all in my thinking. please notice that I said thinking and not writing. I haven't picked up to write seriously in what seems like a long time. I will be making one more significant effort to write. However, I am not sure if it will be for public consumption via the blog or private consumption meaning my various little notebooks or a my computers word processor saved on my external hard drive.

I have to weigh the pros and cons of each methodology then make a decision that will best utilize my abilities. Well the little bit of ability i think i have left that is.

In other M(E) non sense. I have noticed my desire to be around people is a lot less than normal. some would consider me a hermit. though among my true hermit friends i am considered a social butterfly of sorts, go figure. I have to admit this anti-social streak i have been on has been saving me tons of money. it is like me and that little stack of money in those geico commercials have been and will be getting more acquainted with one another.

if this post shows nothing else it has be an indictment on my lack of ability to focus. the fact that i have been so scatter brained lately annoys me to no end. it has gotten to the point where I am refusing to multi-task. however, my attempts to have a one track mind have proven nothing but futile. let me start by putting a few things out there that i am in the middle of in no specific order.. i have a 1500 piece puzzle sitting on my card table a quarter of the way done. I am in the middle of playing two video games and come tuesday that will probably be three as yugioh world championship 2009 will be dropping for the ds. still in the middle of one book that i haven't picked up in a few days. supposed to be training for a 5K that i am suppose to do in a couple of months ( i do put in a mile a day either at the corporate gym or outside on the streets but that needs to be upped significantly). right now i am trying to salvage my dignity by focusing on this post however i have the celtics and magic on in the back round. It is the playoffs, pretty close game but rather sloppy. anyway that is just a microcosm of my inability to focus. I have become convinced that multi-tasking rarely if ever produces great results. it is at these times I remember what harv T. Eker said in his book, the secrets of a millionaire mind, "how you do anything is how you do everything". with that I am off to try to change some of my habits.

always remember change starts with changing one's habits.

piece and blessings.

yeah yeah yeah i know..

Fri, 01 May 2009 00:49:37 GMT

just in case the rest of the world doesn't already know I am no longer single.. i am not really into the term girlfriend but if i makes communication easier then i guess that is what she is to me relatively speaking. i would go more into that but I won't.

what else have i been up to? nothing much really.. just working out. going to people's weddings.. for the record i am tired of going to weddings.. well let me rephrase that.. i am tired of being in weddings cause they cost me too much money.

I think i am officially tired of social networking. i can understand the connectedness of life but this shit is starting to get a bit ridiculous. well i guess it cannot be all bad because I did meet my present partner on myspace.

with all that being said i guess i will talk a bit about why i decided to end my stint as a single man at least for the time being. truth is i am in a relationship with my current partner because it doesn't really feel like a relationship. i know you are like hold up. why be in a relationship if you don't want to be in a relationship? well there are two reasons for that. first is that she earned at least this much. for the past year we have been "dating" (leasing with an option to buy) and i must say that she was the best option I had on the table. secondly, she has been smart enough of a woman to let me grow into the relationship, meaning she gives me enough space to be my anti social self. at the end of the day i am guessing we sort of the see the world the same way, at least for now.

truth is i drive a very hard bargain. some have come to think it is because i don't want to be loved. some say it is because i am still immature (meaning i don't agree with status quo views). personally i am an entity that has learned a fair amount about himself over the past few years. and with that learning i discovered what works for me. what works for me seems to go against the grain of a lot of people... first i do not believe in marriage.. there aren't too many women i have met who can deal with that. and i guess that is understandable considering most women have been taught that marriage is right, proper, and to be expected. Second, I desire not to have children. this too is a bitter pill to swallow for most woman especially when their biological clock is ticking as loud as high noon bells in the wild west.. the way i figure it two things are possible. either she is with me until she is ready to pursue the things she desires, which i am fine with. Or she is hoping that she will stick around long enough for me to change my views on these matters. personally, i know anything is possible but i sincerely hope it is the former because the latter will leave her a very bitter and potentially heart broken woman.

and with that i guess i will have to wait and see how this one works out..

piece and blessings.